Aging is a Dirty Word

Do you have any idea how many of my clients about 45 and up are worried about aging?  Why is it such a dirty word?

Some of the thoughts...or misconceptions....are from what we learned throughout our life.  Of course the media plays a part.  We see young people in their 20s as the only worthwhile thing to be.  No wonder our country could use a little help.  This is true for men and women.  You've all been hypnotized by what you have been watching.  You have been duped into feeling bad and aren't using your valuable time and knowledge for the betterment of yourself and others.  So...let's reframe our thoughts here. 

There is value in everyone, at every age, yet we are so busy worrying about "aging" that we neglect to enjoy life.  Enjoy it!

Enjoy it?  You mean life is meant to be enjoyed?  Um...yes. 

Enjoy your wisdom.  Acquired wisdom is a gift that you worked for.  Don't undervalue it and, please, use it to your advantage.  I certainly don't want to be twenty and that is the truth.  My priorities are different.  My thoughts are different.  My focus is different.

Yet men and women still come in and tell me how they gain weight over forty and there is nothing you can do.  There is nothing you can do if you want to do nothing.  Whatever is important to you, you will give your time to.  So if being physically fit is your goal, then do it.  If losing weight is your goal, then do it.  You are more capable than you think.  With your acquired wisdom, spend your time doing things that make you happy.  Try to weed out (or limit) the things that don't make you happy.  But by all means do the things that make you feel good.

You don't have to look at the world through twenty year old eyes the rest of your life.  Look at them in the moment...through the age of the eyes you have...and appreciate you.  Make the necessary changes so that you feel good.  Don't create goals based upon your goals when you were twenty.  Likely you don't have the same focus.  And isn't that wonderful!

We are not "aging" and, therefore, no longer valuable to society and ourselves.  So we are maturing, gathering wisdom, using our wisdom, fine-tuning our life, shifting our priorities.  Despite what you see in the media, you ARE VALUABLE, more than you realize.  You have a lot to contribute to others.

Appreciate yourself.  Prioritize for your personal happiness.  Feel as good as you can.  Stop measuring yourself by the standards of others.   When you reframe your thoughts...from aging and negative thoughts....to seasoned, professional, mature, valuable, knowledgeable, etc, then life can change for you. 

Seasoned people get the higher paying jobs.  Their knowledge and life experience is sought after and desired.  See yourself as that person.

Then laugh and enjoy life.  Make time for what they truly enjoy.  Don't worry about flaws and being like everyone else; stand out. Be an individual with value and substance.  Your perception of getting older matters.  Do you want to be the aging person or the person who has learned to enjoy life and who they really are?  Your choice. 

Keep Your New Year's Resolution

You make your New Year's resolution with the best of intentions. So why do you have so much trouble keeping it?

Many of us want to get motivated to exercise, lose weight, stop smoking or some similar self-improvement goal. We really want the benefits of the change we desire, but achieving that goal may feel monumental. So how can we achieve success and keep our New Year's resolution? When I work with my clients, the first things we do is establish goals for success!

• Set a well-defined, positive goal that's time-specific. Saying you will “lose weight” is not enough. Make the goal to lose ten pounds in the next three months. You can always set another goal when you attain that one and you will feel so good.
• Make your goal something that can be measured. “I will exercise is too vague” and can't be measured. A better goal would be, “I will exercise three times a day for one half hour.”
• Set an achievable, realistic goal. You will get discouraged quickly if it seems out of reach or if you don't see immediate results. Take small steps and get into the “habit” of succeeding.
• Enlist the help of family, friends, children, parents and co-workers. Let them know what you are doing. Get support, encouragement and an expectation of results.
• Reward yourself for success.

Once you have established a well-defined goal, there will be moments in the process that cause you to feel challenged. We all feel challenged sometimes, but quitting doesn't have to be the result. Stress, old habits, busy schedules and many other factors can cause us to feel like giving up or not take the time to succeed. Meditation and self-hypnosis are two ways in which to support yourself while you are working to attain your goal. Take the time to relax and unwind so you are equipped to meet any challenges that may come you way. If you have a bad day, go back to the goal, don't abandon it.

It takes time to establish new, positive habits to replace our old habits (28 days), so give yourself the time, effort and planning it takes to get the results you desire. If weight is the issue, then plan ahead and make a beautiful lunch to take with you instead of eating out of the candy machine at the last minute. If you are looking to exercise and your can't “find the time” then pair it with another activity, such as walking with a friend or child during a discussion or at an event. Find ways to make it happen.

Feeling like you are “worth the effort” is a personal challenge for many people with busy lives, but the benefits far outweigh the effort. Find ways to succeed for the New Year. It will be a new habit that will serve you well in many ways throughout 2015.